「聖誕便便漢基先生」首次出現在同名劇集中，由凱爾·布羅夫洛夫斯基演唱。這首歌的擴展版則在「漢基先生的聖誕特輯」一集中出現。
背景[]
該歌在「聖誕便便漢基先生」中首先由凱爾·布羅夫洛夫斯基演唱，之後全體城鎮居民也演唱了該歌。在「漢基先生的聖誕特輯」中，這首歌由聖誕郵差和幾個孩子演唱。
歌詞[]
「聖誕便便漢基先生」[]
Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
he loves me and I love you
Therefore, vicariously he loves you even if you're a Jew
Sometimes he's nutty, sometimes he's corny,
he can be brown or greenish-brown
But if you eat fiber on Christmas Eve,
he might come to your town
Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
He loves me. I love you
Heeeeeeee Looooooves Yoooooouu!
「漢基先生的聖誕特輯」[]
We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose
And we all know Frosty whose made out of snow
But all of those stories seem kind of... gay
Cuz we all know who brightens up our holiday
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
Small and brown he comes from you
Sit on the toilet here he comes
Squeeze him between your festive buns
A present from down below
Spreading joy with a "howdy ho"
He's seen the love inside of you
Cuz' he's a piece of poo
Sometimes he's nutty
Sometimes he's corny
He can be brown or greenish-brown (Mmm Mmm)
But if you eat fiber on Christmas Eve he might come to your town.
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
He loves me I love you
Therefore vicariously he loves you
布萊德利：
I can make a Mr Hankey too!
(fart noise)
卡特曼：
Well Kyle where is he?
凱爾：
He's comin'
斯坦：
C'mon dude push!
凱爾：
I'm trying!
卡特曼：
Oh wait wait I can see his head!
凱爾：
HERE HE COMES!!
(fart noise)
漢基先生：
HOWDY HO!
I'm Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
Seasons greetings to all of you
Let's sing songs and dance and play
Now before I melt away
Here's a game I like to play
Stick me in your mouth and try to say
Howdy ho ho yum yum yum
Christmas time has come!
Sometimes he's runny
Sometimes he's firm
Sometimes he's practically water
Sometime he hangs off the end of your ass
and won't fall in the toilet
Cuz he's just clinging to your sphincter
and he won't drop off and so you
shake your ass around and try to get it to drop in the toilet
and finally it does
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
When Christmas leaves he must leave too
Flush him down but he's never gone
His smell and his spirit lingers on....
Howdy ho!
國語版歌詞[]
「聖誕便便漢基先生」[]
黃金先生 聖誕便便
他愛我 我愛你
不再分你我 沒歧視 即使你是佛教徒
雖然他很臭 雖然他粗野
還是那噁心的 大便綠
但只要吃 足夠的 纖維質
他就自動來報到
黃金先生 聖誕便便
他愛我 我愛你
【】
「漢基先生的聖誕特輯」[]
你是否曾做過有故事的夢
夢境中你將嫁給張中牟
但睜開眼就發現事實殘酷
你還沒有資格來幫他暖被窩
黃金先生聖誕便便
不只是，一坨大便
小巧又堅挺，形狀美
一般便便不能超越
他從馬桶跳出來
一開口就是照過來
他能讓你盡情發洩
因為他是條大便
雖然他有惡臭
雖然很粗野
卻是有尊嚴的便便（沒錯）
不管你做什麼顏色的夢都會變成咖啡色
黃金先生聖誕便便
他愛我，我愛你
好東西要和你分享
布萊德利：
我們迎著陽光一起便
黃金先生：
照過來
我是黃金先生聖誕便便
最ㄅㄧㄤˋ的祝福獻給你
如廁通暢形狀炫
便便是一種美德
不要遺棄便便
大家跟著我一起唸
照過來喲ㄘㄨㄚˋㄘㄨㄚˋㄘㄨㄚˋ
聖誕節快樂
有時像香腸
又像麵團
有時像番薯簽稀飯
有時像螃蟹緊緊掐住屁屁
不願回到馬桶去
他只想努力留在馬桶上
你用力的左搓右揉上衝下洗
可是你最後還是搞不定
黃金先生聖誕便便
跟聖誕來，隨聖誕去
揮手道別，不要傷心
民之所欲常在便便心
照過來
冷知識[]
- 在1998年這首歌在享有盛譽的英國聖誕歌曲排行榜上排名第2，僅次於當周發行的「巧克力鹹酥球（歌曲）」。在接下來的一周里，這首歌贏得了榜首。在1999年聖誕節，「聖誕便便漢基先生」也名列前十。1999年接近尾聲時，這首歌在90年代的最後一次排行榜上得了第4名。
| 第一季歌曲 | ||
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| 第三季歌曲 | ||
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