出场角色[]
- Stan Marsh
- Kyle Broflovski
- Eric Cartman
- Butters Stotch
- Craig Tucker
- Ike Broflovski
- Mr. Mackey
- A Nun
- Tom the Anchorman
- UN Delegates from Britain, Switzerland, France, and Japan
- Café 180 Patron
- Clerk
- Danish Man
- Danish Woman
- Female Reporter
- Reporter
- Husband and Wife
- Peter Griffin
- Internet Stars
- Afro Ninja
- Chocolate Rain Guy
- Chris Crocker
- Numa Numa
- Star Wars Kid
- Tron Guy Canadians
- Stephen Abootman and his aides
- Terrance & Phillip
- Weird Hat Guy
- Canadian Woman 1
- Canadian Woman 2
- Lumberjack 2
- Man 1
- Man 2
- Man 3
- Man 4
- Border Guard
剧本[]
| 加拿大罢工 | |
| The South Park Elementary school gym, day. The students have been called to show up there. Mr. Mackey comes out and stands in front of a big TV and between two bulky tower speakers | |
| Students, quiet please, m'kay? As you may or may not know, today is Canada Appreciation Day. | |
| Oh God, I'm bored already. | |
| M'kay, so we've been asked to show you a video from the World Canadian Bureau. Uh start the tape please? [exits right as the tape starts up. A Canadian flag appears onscreen] | |
| [appears in his office onscreen] Hello, I am Stephen Abootman, President of the World Canadian Bureau. Do you ever stop to think how important Canada is to the world? Right now, I would like all students of Canadian descent in this school to stand up. [no one moves a muscle until one lone Canadian boy, Ike, stands up.] Just look at all these fine Canadians in your school. See how diverse they are. When you think of Canada, what's the one thing that comes to mind? | |
| Gayness! [everyone laughs and looks at Ike, who looks chagrined.] | |
| That's right: spirit! What is it that makes Canada so important? | |
| Nothing! [everyone laughs harder and looks at Ike.] | |
| Canada, day, a crowd stands in front of a building with G on it. | |
| My fellow Canadians, for too long we have been pushed around, and ridiculed! Yesterday was supposed to be a day of appreciation and understanding! Instead, Canada Appreciation Day was mocked worldwide! [the crowd begins to clamor] | |
| [wearing #10] Nobody takes us Canadians seriousleh! | |
| It's like the world doesn't respect Canada at all, eh? | |
| That's right! And I think it's time for Canada to show the world just how bad things would be without it! Together we can send a message! It's time for Canada ...to strike! | |
| Did you say strike? | |
| Yes! Every Canadian join me! Join together! | |
| Canada, on strike. | |
| Canada, on strike. | |
| |
| Can all just take a hike! [rolls down his window shade] | |
| |
| |
| |
| The United Nations, day. | |
| Ahhh, when you say "Canada is on strike", what exactly do you mean? | |
| What do you think it means?! [pounds the table] We're striking, buddih! No more! That's it! Until we get what we want | |
| Who exactly are you to authorize this strike? | |
| I'm Stephen Abootman! Leader of the WGA! | |
| The WGA? | |
| [crosses his arms] Yes! The World Canadian Bureau! [the other delegates don't react.] | |
| What exactly does Canada want? | |
| We want: more... money! | |
| [with mustache] Yeah! More money! | |
| More money from where? | |
| Just more money! You know! Canada doesn't get enough money! Other countries have lots of money; we want, we want some of that money! Hu- how about- the Internet? The Internet makes lots of money! So give us some of that money! | |
| Yeah! Give us Internet money! | |
| A Mister A- Abootman, you seem to- not understand how ...global economics works. I think that- | |
| Don't give me that fat-cat fancy lip-wiggling! Are you gonna give Canada more money or not?! [pounds his fist on the table a few times] | |
| I'm afraid we can't. | |
| Then you leave Canada no choice. [heads for the doors. His aides open them and he heads out] This strike shall continue! [the aides head out, closing the doors behind them.] | |
| A snowy night in South Park, a shot of Kyle's room through his window. Kyle heads to the front end of his room to look out the window. Out on the sidewalk stands Ike with his own strike sign: "HONK if you support CANADA" Cars pass by without stopping. Kyle suffers for him. A car pulls up and Ike turns to face it | |
| "Honk if you support Canada" He- hey honey, watch this. [honks twice] | |
| [looks at him] Oh, we're supporting unions. | |
| That's right; we're a very progressive couple. | |
| Yes. [reaches over and honks the horn] Oh, that's fun! | |
| Well we've done our good deed for the week. I think now I can make love to your anus without making God angry. | |
| Oh really? Goodie! [they drive off. Ike watches them leave] | |
| Stan's house, day. Stan, Butters, and Cartman are watching TV. Kyle walks in from outside | |
| Guys, I'm really worried about my brother. | |
| We don't care. *urp* | |
| You should care! This strike affects everybody, fatass! | |
| Sh ush ush, it'sa it's on! | |
| Yippie! | |
| It's the Terrance and Phillip Show. [Terrance and Phillip in] Today's episode: I Fart Huckabees. [Terrance and Phillip are shown dressed in Viking warrior outfits] | |
| Aww, this one again?! | |
| God, they've replayed this one like eighty times now! | |
| Say Phillip, I just bought this new hybrid car. | |
| Oh? Does it run on electricity? | |
| [the boys say the line too] No, it uses natural gas. [they do raspberries as Terrance farts on Phillip. Terrance and Phillip laugh] | |
| Not as fat as your face! | |
| Huh, it somehow loses its punch after multiple viewings. | |
| God damn it, when are they going to air new Terrance and Phillip shows?! | |
| There aren't gonna be new shows! Don't you get it?! Terrance and Phillip are Canadian! We have to get Canada to end this strike! | |
| It's not a big deal. We can just watch American comedy. ["Terrance and Phillip" disappears and "Family Guy" comes on] | |
| You think that's bad? Remember the time I sang "La Cucaracha" for Paul McCartney? | |
| [jumps off the couch and runs to the TV] No! NOOO! | |
| La Cucaracha- [Cartman turns off the TV and faces his friends] We are NOT... resorting to that! | |
| Striking Canadians, day. | |
| We want more! We want more! | |
| One, two, three, four, Canada deserves more (money)! One, two, three, four, Canada deserves more (money)! [Terrance and Phillip walk up to him] | |
| Look, buddih, me and Phillip need to go home for a bit. | |
| Go home?! You can't leave the picket line! | |
| But this is taking too long, and Phillip is diabetic. | |
| Look, guy, we are to stay strong! If you don't stand with your fellow Canadians, then you are a rat! | |
| Don't call me a rat, buddih! | |
| I'm not your buddih, friend! | |
| He's not your friend, guy! | |
| I'm not your guy, buddih! | |
| He's not your buddih, friend! | |
| I'm not your friend, guy! [all three fall silent, and Stephen goes forward] Don't you two understand anything?! You think striking is a joke?! You think it's something to ridicule?! | |
| [pops in] Yah, you think this is funnih? | |
| [moves to address the whole crowd] Don't you see that we have to stand together or else we have nothing?! | |
| [runs up with a cell phone] Stephen! Stephen! A call came in from the United States! They want to talk to you aboot ending the strike! | |
| What did I tell you?! I told you we'd get to them sooner or later! [the crowd gets excited and starts chatting] Shh, shh, quiet everyone! Let me handle this. [everyone falls silent as he takes the call] Yes. This is Stephen Abootman, head of the WGA. | |
| Uh, hi, we want you to end this strike. [he's calling from his house, with the other boys standing back aways] | |
| Oh you do, huh?! [muffles the phone, then tells the others] They've had enough. They want us to end the strike. [everyone cheers] Quiet, quiet, shh, shh, sh- quiet, quiet! Let me deal with this. [the Canadians fall silent and Stephen returns to the phone] All right, we're prepared to end this strike! If you are agreeing that we should have more monihhh! | |
| We totally think you should have more money. | |
| Wwe got 'em! We did it! [jumps up and down with much energy. Everyone cheers. "Great job!"] All right, how much are you gonna give us? | |
| Huh? Well we don't really have that much money. | |
| Oh, negotiating hardball, are we?! What about all that Internet money?! | |
| The Internet? | |
| You listen to me, friend! [walks away from the crowd so they don't hear him so loudly] You'd better figure out a way to get us our fair amount of money, and until you come back with a solid fair number, I'm finished talking to you, you slimy corporate dickhead! [hangs up, then faces the crowd] Don't worry, don't worry. This is how negotiating works. This is good. We've got 'em by the balls. | |
| Kyle looks at the phone dumbfounded. The other boys walk up | |
| What'd they say? | |
| They said we have to give them money that we make on the Internet. | |
| How are we supposed to make money on the Internet? | |
| Well, how do other people make money on the Internet? | |
| We'd have to put something up on the Internet that everyone would find fascinating. | |
| [steps up] Wait. I've got it. | |
| A video. Butters is on a stage with bluescreen so it looks like he's actually in a spaceship. He's in his normal clothes, and he begins to dance. To his right rises Spaceman Butters, and to his left rises Pajama Butters. | |
| |
| Oh my. | |
| |
| Kyle's room. The boys have been watching the video from there | |
| There's more people viewing it! | |
| This is going great! | |
| [walks over to the window] Don't worry, Ike! The strike will be over soon! [Ike is on his back] | |
| Canada, night. The Canadians are beat. Some walk around listlessly, others have facial hair, all have bags under their eyes | |
| And in other world news, the leader of Japan today is calling for an increase in military spending. | |
| How come they never mention anything about us?! When are they gonna get to the strike?! | |
| Don't worry, the strike is big news. I'm sure it will be one of the top stories. | |
| In other news tonight, it the Internet video that has already seen over ten million views. A young confused-looking boy dancing and singing a song called "What What (In My Asshole)". | |
| [in front of Butters' house] Tom, in just one week the video has become the most watched thing in all of America. [Butters appears at his bedroom window and waves at the camera] The boy in the video, referred to by most as "that little gay kid", [Butters stops and leaves the window] has already been asked to appear on Jimmy Kimmel and The Today Show. | |
| Aw damn it that's not news! What about us?! | |
| Look, ah, Stephen, Terrance and I were talking andeh, well it's, it's starting to look like maybe we're not gonna win this thing, you know? | |
| We'll win! We'll just have to stay resilient! | |
| Wull, yeah, but everyone is dying of starvation. | |
| Yeah, let's give it up, guy. | |
| Don't call me your guy! I'm not your guy, friend! | |
| Well I'm not your friend, buddih! | |
| Well I'm not your buddih, guy! | |
| Wait! Here it is! Turn it up! We're on! | |
| And finally tonight, a new development in the Canada strike. For those of you who don't remember or don't care, Canada has been striking for more money. [the Canadians cheer] | |
| All right! Shh! I told you, I told you, listen, listensh, listen listen listen. | |
| In a shocking turn of events, it now appears that thousands of people from Denmark are flooding into the United States with hopes of taking the place of the striking Canadians. | |
| What? | |
| An airport. A plane from Denmark is parked on the tarmac and Danish people pour out of it. The Danish have both Canadian and normal features - Canadian bodies and jaws and normal eyes | |
| Do you really think you Danish can replace the Canadians? | |
| Well, where we come from it's pretty cold too, ja. We like hockey and nobody really pays any attention to us. | |
| Nobody knows where Denmark is. | |
| Right. So when you think about it, we're the Canadians of Europe. | |
| Back in Canada | |
| SCABS! How could you?! [runs up to the TV annd destroys it with one kick] | |
| A lobby, somewhere. DIM, it says. Department of Internet Money. Stan and the boys walk up to the help desk. They look around before Stan steps forward | |
| Ah, hi. We made a really successful thing on the Internet, and we'd like to collect our money. | |
| Take a number and wait with everyone else. | |
| Ma'am, perhaps you don't recognize the Internet sensation Little Gay Kid from YouToob. | |
| [not taking time out from her work] Take a number and wait with everyone else! [Stan takes a numbered slip from the dispenser and leads the other boys to some seats in a waiting room nearby] | |
| [slowly, a little creepily] Chocolate Raaain. | |
| Aaah. [another man walks up to the boys] | |
| Hey, I know you. You're the "What What (In My Asshole)" kid. | |
| [insulted, crosses his arms] "What What (In The Butt)," sir. | |
| It's Tron Guy. I saw him on YouToob. | |
| Yeah, sure. All the biggest Internet stars are here. You remember, of course, Numa Numa. [to his right is the Numa Numa guy. He begins dancing to a song] | |
Ma-iyahi Ma-iyahu Ma-iyaho, Ma-iyaha ha. | |
| And the Star Wars kid. [the kid starts to dance around as in his video] And the Internet sensation Cute Sneezing Panda. [as in its video, the mother panda sneezes as soon as her child moves] And there's Dramatic Look Gopher. [the camera pans by a lonely girl and focuses on the gopher, who seems to notice the camera is on him. He quickly turns to face the camera and freezes] | |
| Wow, I've seen all you guys on the Internet! | |
| [to Butters] So, how many people have seen your Internet video? | |
| Uhhh a few hundred thousand? | |
| Huh, mere peanuts. Chocolate Rain has done gangbusters. Theoretically, I'm a millionaire. | |
| Dude, screw you. Your Internet thing was so last year. | |
| [jumps in out of nowhere] Leave Chocolate Rain Guy alone! Leave him alohohone! I'm serious! [a phone rings and Kyle digs into his pocket] | |
| [finds the phone...] Excuse me. [...leaves his seat and exits the waiting room. Then he takes the call] Hello? | |
| [sitting on a cardboard box] You greedy corporate fat cat. You said you would get us moneh. | |
| Wait we're working on it. | |
| [stands and moves forward] You're stalling! Because you think I'll give up. You know that most Canadians are talkin' about giving up the strike already. [coughs away from the phone] You've got me over a barrel and you know it! | |
| Sir, we're doing everything we can. | |
| You want me to say it again?! You've got me over a barrel! There, you happy?! You've got me bent over a barrel with my tender ass just waiting to be pulverized by your thrusting manhood! [Kyle stays quiet] Do you realize how stupid I'm going to look if I call off the strike after starting all this?! I won't do it! You hear me, guy?! You're wrong! No matter what happens I will never call of this strike! Even if it means we all. Die. | |
| We don't want you to die. | |
| Then you'd better hurry. We don't have much longer. The blood will be on your hands. [slowly hangs up] | |
| Back at the waiting room... Kyle returns | |
| We have to speed this up! [to Chocolate Rain Guy] Uh, can we collect our Internet money in front of you, please? | |
| I don't think so. Nothing takes priority over Chocolate Rain. | |
| Oh, here he goes with the ego again. Who crowned you the top Internet star?! | |
| I did. When I became bigger than all you bitches. | |
| Oh please, Laughing Baby had four times as many views as you! [the baby begins to laugh and laugh...] | |
| You'd better shut your fuckin' mouth, Laughin' Baby! | |
| Did you all forget about Afro Ninja? My Internet thing was bigger than anybody's. I made over a hundred million theoretical dollars. | |
| Well Sneezing Panda is theoretically worth billions! | |
| You all wanna motherfuckin' die?! [whips out a Glock and cocks it] | |
| NOOO! [grabs the gun and tries to wrestle it from Chocolate Rain Guy] | |
| A battle royal begins. Tron Guy whips out a frisbee and chucks it at Numa Numa. It hits Numa Numa's left cheek | |
| Haw! | |
| Afro Ninja fights the Star Wars Kid, Numa Numa fights Tron Guy, Chris Crocker fights Chocolate Rain Guy. Afro Ninja knocks Star Wars Guy away with his nunchucks, then tries a back flip and falls on his face. He gets up groggily and stumbles away. The baby laughs some more | |
| Okay, forget it. We'll wait our turn. | |
| Hai Hayaaa! | |
Ma-iyahi Ma-iyahu Ma-iyah- [kicks Tron Guy in the balls, then lands a left hook on his face] | |
| [jumps in to separate the two men] Leave Tron Guy alone! Leave him alone! [the baby continues laughing. Chocolate Rain Guy grabs Chris Crocker by the hair and drags him around. Chris is screaming] | |
| Get ready for some chocolate pain, bitch! [aims his right at Chris' head. Chris quickly bites Chocolate Rain Guy's right leg, making him drop the gun. The mother panda mauls Numa Numa, Tron Guy throws his frisbee again, and Chris Crocker jumps in again] | |
| Leave the panda alone! Leave her alone, I'm serious! [the mother panda stands on her hind legs and just swats Chris out of view, killing him. Chocolate Rain Guy reaches for his fallen gun, turns around, and kills Star Wars Kid with two shots. The mother panda mauls Tron Guy to death, and Chocolate Rain Guy kills the panda with four shots. He then aims at the gopher] | |
| Thought I forgot about you, Gopher?! [the gopher, who's facing away from him, suddenly turns its head to him, looking at him intently] Ughhh, my brains. [his head swells up and explodes. His body staggers for a few seconds, then falls to the side. One last bullet leaves his gun and blows the gopher's head off. Anyone who was involved in the battle is gone] | |
| Sweet. I think we're next in line now. | |
| Kyle's house, day. Ike is still on the front lawn, still on his back. He blinks | |
| Canada, day. Everyone there is now tired out. Some have died, as they have X's where their eyes should be. The camera moves forward to the G (for Government) building, then flies up the side until it reaches Mr. Abootman's office. Mr. Abootman looks out the window at the crowd beneath him | |
| [opens the office door] Stephen!, Stephen! They're here! They've come to negotiate! | |
| [turns around] What?! You mean it?! [Kyle and friends walk in] | |
| Okay, we did it. | |
| Who the hell are you? | |
| We're the ones you told to get Internet money. | |
| Here. [hands Mr. Abootman the money] We made ten million theoretical dollars. It's all for you. [Mr. Abootman takes the check and looks at it] | |
| Theoretical dollars? What am I supposed to do with that?! [turns away] You little timewasters! | |
| Hey, we worked really hard to get this theoretical money! | |
| Yeah. Everyone thinks I'm a homo now. | |
| ...You are a homo, Butters. | |
| Dude, will you just end this thing now?! My little brother is gonna die! | |
| Nooooo! I'm not gonna look like an idiot! If I fucked up and led everyone astray, the last thing I'm going to do and admit it! [the phone rings and he turns to answer it] Yes, this is the head of the WGA. The World Canadian Bureau. | |
| The UN, day. A conference call - the leaders talk to Mr. Abootman over a speakerphone | |
| Ah, Mr. Abootman. It's the global world summit leaders. We want to talk to you about the strike. | |
| You... You do? You wanna negotiate?! | |
| No, actually we were just wondering if, when you're all dead, we can use Newfoundland for a new global theme park. [Mr. Abootman drops the phone and begins to weep. He walks away with his hands over his eyes] | |
| [picks up the phone] Hello? Will you just give this guy something, please?! | |
| Excuse me? | |
| [Mr. Abootman leans on the door, crying] He just doesn't wanna look like an idiot, so he wants everyone to think the strike was for something. Just, just give him anything! | |
| Well, we could give Canada some small consolation prize | |
| If they give you something small, will you end the strike? | |
| Will they... act like they're giving Canada a lot so everyone thinks I did a good job? | |
| Can you act like you're giving him a lot? | |
| Sure, why not? | |
| Canada, moments later. Mr. Abootman steps outside to the podium and makes an announcement | |
| We have won! [no one reacts: they're all too tired to] | |
| Well how much did we get? | |
| Well, we uh, we didn't get everything that we wanted, but... we negotiated hard and... we got these... [holds up some coupons] coupons to Bennigan's! And... [holds up a bag of sweets] free bubblegum... for every Canadian. [his aide steps forward and claps really fast. Other Canadians begin to clap their hands] These coupons entitle every Canadian to a free meal at Bennigan's. With the purchase of a meal at equal or greater value, of course. | |
| We did it! [aide 2 steps forward and claps really fast. Other Canadians begin to clap their hands] | |
| My friends. This is the greatest victory in Canadian history. [headlines follow: The Canuck Reporter has "Canada Wins The Strike". Canadiety has "Strike over! Canada Victorious!". Canada Today has "Strike Victory Party Set For Next Week".] | |
| South Park, Kyle's house, front lawn, day. Ike is still half-buried in the snow. A taxi pulls up to the curb and lets the boys out | |
| Ike. Ike! [Ike wakes up] It's over. | |
| [stands up] It's over? | |
| Yeah. Here you go. [hands him a Bennigan's coupon and a gumdrop. Kyle and the others head indoors] | |
| Boy, I'm sure glad that's over with. | |
| Me too! | |
| Yeah, but you know, I learned something today. We thought we could make money on the Internet. But, while the Internet is new and exciting for creative people, it hasn't matured as a distribution mechanism to the extent that one should trade real and immediate opportunities for income for the promise of future online revenue. It will be a few years before digital distribution of media on the Internet can be monetized to the extent that necessitates content producers to forgo their fair value in more traditional media. | |
| ...Yeah. | |
| Canada, the Victory Party. Kool & The Gang's "Celebration". Everyone is just standing around. The camera pans from left to right. Mr. Abootman and his aides appear. They're all dancing | |
| Yeah, we did it! Celebrate, everyone! Woohoo! [the reason for everyone standing around is shown: a memorial wall on one side of the room has pictures of everyone who died during the strike. Mourners walk up with bouquets and drop them off at the table in front of the wall.] | |
| Hold on a minute! Wait just a second! [the music stops as Terrance holds out a calculator] We just did some calculating! By NOT working during the strike, Canadians lost more than 10.4 million dollars! | |
| And our Bennigan's coupons and bubble gum is worth roughly... three thousand and eight dollars! | |
| Don't look at that. Come on, friends, let's dance. | |
| You had no idea what you were doing and now you're trying to make it look like you won so that we won't set you adrift! | |
| Damn it friends, don't you see? We won for future Canadians, guy. So the little guy doesn't get pushed around anymore. This was a victory for Canada's respect. [Terrance and Phillip don't believe what they're hearing] | |
| The shore of a lake. A man picks away at a block of ice. Two other men come and push it away. On it are Stephen Abootman and his aides | |
| Eh?! What do you think you're doing?! | |
| We're setting you adrift, idiot! | |
| Maybe you can go live with the Danish! | |
| You'll regret this day, friend! | |
| I'm not your friend, buddih! | |
| I'm not your buddih, guy! | |
| He's not your guy, friend! | |
| [loud and drawn out] I'm not your friend, buddih! | |
| We're not your buddih, guy! | |
| [now far away] I'm not your guy, friend! | |
| 加拿大罢工 结束 | |